Graduation and Father’s day collided for me this year. As much as I was happy and proud of Julia on graduation day, it felt so incomplete without dad, her Papa, sitting there with us to witness and celebrate our baby girl. I know he is with us in spirit and in our hearts, and yet it still doesn’t stop me wishing he were here with us to take that proud graduation picture. You know the one, with the him all dressed up and nicely trimmed beard and hair. I envisioned that picture of him and Julia since the day she was born.  If you follow me on Facebook, you know I post about being a mom ALL the time and especially my adventures being #CollegePrepMom. Here’s the thing, my dad taught me how to be a mom. My dad taught me how to be a wife and a sister and a friend. He was #CollegePrepDad and became #CollegePrepPapa before I knew how to be #CollegePrepMom.
I can imagine him trying to figure out what #CollegePrepDad and #CollegePrepPapa means. I imagine his saying ‘Ay mijita, what is all that # stuff??’
So here I am, an emotional mess trying to deal with all these changes and wishing I had my dad with me to help me know what to do next. Dad had been with me every step of the way with Julia. He was there when she was born and then moved in when she was a baby. He used to come in our room at night and roll her bassinet out of the room and put it next to his so he could take care of both of his babies. He fed her and dressed her and took for a walks and rides in that old red wagon. Everyone in our neighborhood knew the old man and the baby girl in red wagon. He was there to meet her at the bus stop after school and take her to swim and gymnastics classes when we couldn’t. He was there at her plays and choir programs. He was there for open houses and grandparents luncheons. He was her biggest customer for all her school fundraisers and Girl Scout cookie sales. He was there when the dreaded “tweens” hit and was the only one she would talk to or let hug her. He was there when she would run to her room and slam the door and he was the only one she allowed in to comfort her. As much as I tried, she wouldn’t let me in. In the days leading up to his death he told me, “don’t give up mijita, you gotta keep going back to her room and finding a way.” He would tell me I was too hard on her and to give her time to grow out of this phase, to be patient and forgiving and to always let her know she will be loved. The tweens years passed and so did dad when Julia turned 13. I was lost without him, but I kept going back until she let me in to her room and to her life. As always, dad had the best advice and I know things will be fine and if not, well I have three more kids to practice on and hopefully I’ll get it right with one of them. I’ve had a great role model with my very own #CollegePrepDad and #CollegePrepPapa.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.